Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
