just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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