first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
