I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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