So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize