So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
You dont lie about slip and slides
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
