whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
