I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize