FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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