some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
