is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I will pee on everything he values.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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