I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
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