i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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