its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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