he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
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