if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
