Sponge bath it is.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
false alarm, still single
Randomize