Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
