so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
