i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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