I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
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When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
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Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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