Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
