The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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