Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
