I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
