It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
