Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
