Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
