so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
