She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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