i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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