hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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