the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
We need to rekindle our bromance
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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