you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
