Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Green mimosas i think yes
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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