I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
