Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
