I seem to have left my pride at pride
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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