I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
