and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I see more hoeing in ur future
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
