U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
