Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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