Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Randomize
