dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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