I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
