time to smoke my breakfast
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
