she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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