so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
