belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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