so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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