Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize