yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
