theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
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You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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