but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Randomize
