Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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