just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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