My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
