Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
