I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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