He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
