What did we do last night that was yellow?
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
