I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
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If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize